Culture is Weird, Bro

I’ve been living in Madrid province for almost a year now. So the initial shock of I’M IN A LITERAL OTHER COUNTRY has faded, but obviously there are still some things that stand out to me. Some of these things might not seem weird to you, depending on your cultural background. In my few months here, I’ve already met a lot of people from different countries or raised in different cultures than my own. So I’m super curious what other people’s perceptions and opinions of these things are. Enjoy and let me know what you think!

1. TORTILLA - A "tortilla” is no longer the thing you put your burrito in. In Spain, a tortilla is basically a quiche, but fluffier and usually with potatoes, cheese, ham, mushrooms, or other yummy things mixed in. You might think that Spaniards would be totally understanding about any confusion, like “Oh you mean that popular food item called “tortilla” in dozens of other countries?” But no. If you don’t get the tortilla thing right they’ll look at you like you’re crazy.

2. BUS FIGHTS - I have never seen as many bus fights as I have here. The contenders? Little old ladies versus bus drivers. The fights start when the little old ladies don’t have the full bus fare. Personally, I’d just look pitiful and hope they let me on the bus. But these ladies will not go down without a fight. It’s so ridiculous, it’s funny. The bus driver will give them a lecture on how they’re stealing his paycheck. Then he’ll let them on the bus. Then the little old ladies will (ungratefully) get on, sit toward the back, and yell to the front of the bus about how unfair it is.

3. WALKING ETIQUETTE - I would’ve never said there was a “wrong” way to walk, but boy has Spain has proved me wrong. There is no urgency in the way Spaniards walk. There is only one pace…and it is leisurely. They also prefer not to walk in a straight line. They’re not checking to see if anyone’s in front or behind. They may stop to talk to someone and take up the entire sidewalk. They just kind of float. In the states, if someone is about to bump into me, I let them do it. That way they know they made a mistake. (I know. I’m terrible.) But here, someone will bump into you and then go on with their life…at a leisurely pace.

4. WASHING MACHINES - Washing machines take FOREVER here. I started timing it because I thought I was crazy. Two hours—no exaggeration! Also, because of the arid climate, dryers are more of a luxury item here than the norm. Count your blessings, America.

5. TO-GO COFFEE - To-go coffee hasn’t really caught on in local cafes here. If you do find a cafe that has coffee “to-go”, it really just means that it will come in a disposable cup. You probably won’t get a lid; you definitely won’t get a lid stopper or a cute cardboard sleeve with mittens and snowflakes on it. If you’re like me and you like frufru coffee, you might end up balancing four inches of whipped cream on top of a steaming hot cup while you dodge oblivious Spaniards floating down on the sidewalk.

6. CASTLES! - Someone once told me, “The pharmacies in Spain are older than the oldest buildings in the US,” and…she was kind of right. You don’t have to go far to see centuries-old buildings. And there are so many of them that they aren’t too concerned about you touching them. In the museums and historic houses I’ve visited in the U.S., I felt like I was being watched every second. Don’t even think about poking that historic doorknob, Becky. They’re watching. But here, I’ve gotten to explore a medieval jail, a fortress, a castle, and a historic cathedral/mosque with very little supervision. My coworkers say there are some ruins without any supervision. You can climb all over them and no one’s going to stop you! (Climbing and castles? Can you say Becky’s dream come true?)

7. GETTING HIT BY CARS - Cars are way more yielding to pedestrians here and, to be honest, it freaks me out. If it’s a major road, there’s usually a pedestrian traffic light, so you have to wait to cross. But if not, you can practically step out into the street with your eyes closed and the cars will stop for you without a complaint. It has been really hard to get used to. I still wait to cross until I see the car slow down, which probably get on drivers’ nerves.

8. MILK ON MILK ON MILK - I promise there are things I love about Spain. One of them is the abundance of gluten free and lactose free options in most supermarkets. They got coconut milk. They got oat milk. They got lactose free cow’s milk. They got vanilla-flavored soy milk. They got coffee flavored milk. They got vanilla-flavored soy-flavored almond-coffee milk. Ok, not really the last one. But every grocery store has A LOT of milk options. (Pray for me because I found a lactose-free whipped cream and I’m on my third can.)

9. RESPECT THE SEÑORITAS! - There are a lot of little old ladies walking the sidewalks of Spain and they are NOT going to move out of the way for you. It doesn’t matter how slowly they’re walking or how quickly you’re walking. It doesn’t matter how much sidewalk they’re taking up. It doesn’t matter if you were minding your own business and they walked directly into you. (This may have happened to me…) You will move for them—not the other way around.

10. FAMILY - Family is a huge cultural value. It’s especially visible in the pueblos (smaller towns) where you’ll see families walking together or hanging out in the plaza. One of the first things I noticed was how many dads will be out by themselves with their young children. Playing with them, riding bikes, kicking around a ball. It warms my heart. It’s very common to see teenagers, young adults, or adult children walking with the elderly. They never seem to be going anywhere in particular. They’re just helping their parents or grandparents go for a walk. I haven’t lived near my grandparents since I was a baby, and most of them have passed away now, but this sight makes my heart so happy. These walks go at a snail-pace, but something about how quiet they are makes them beautiful and intimate. As someone who never walks slowly, it seems like an important opportunity to slow down physically and mentally, just to be with another person.